Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?
by Father Maxwell
Summary: Perhaps, finally a conclusion! LoL First chapter features Sailor Senshi and Goku, second features everybody from Juri to Voldemort to a big piece of cheese! R/R, NOW!
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Sailor Moon belongs to Naoko Takeuchi, DBZ belongs to um...that guy whose name I can't remember, and Who Wants to be a Millionare belongs to some big corporate TV executive guy.

Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?

Announcer-Welcome to Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks! And here's your host, Rego Phibla!

Rego-Thank you! Today on Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks, we have 5 new contestants that are trying to make 

5 bucks! They are:

Son Goku

Mizuno Ami

Kino Makoto

Aino Minako

and 

Hino Rei!

But if any of them want to have a chance to win, they have to answer the Fast Fingers question first. And here 

it is!

Q. Put the Three Lights in order from tallest to shortest.

A. Kou Seiya

B. Kou Taiki

C. Kou Yaten

Rego-And we have a winner! Aino Minako, come on down!

Minako-OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!! ::runs to podium thing and sits down::

Rego-Well, you certainly seem enthusiastic about this. Was that question easy for you?

Minako-You bet!!! I just love the Three Lights!! ::waves:: Hiiiii Yaten!

Yaten-(in audience with Seiya and Taiki) ::sighs and shakes his head::

Rego-Well, let's get this show started. The $1 question:

Q. What does the word "kawaii" mean?

A. paper

B. cute

C. cheesehead

D. Batman

Minako-Gee, Rego, that's a tough one. I think I might have to use a lifeline for this one...

Yaten-::stands up and yells:: For God's sake, Mina, you're from JAPAN!!! You say that word all the time!!!

Minako-Really? But you know I'm not very good with definitions...

Yaten-::face turns red with anger and he has to be led out of studio by Taiki::

Rego-Well, now that we've gotten rid of that, eh, distraction, have you gotten an answer for the question yet?

Minako-Rego, I think I'm gonna phone a friend.

Rego-alright, who do you wanna call?

Minako-I think I'll call Yaten on his cell phone!! ::giggles::

Rego-Alright, we are calling Yaten. ::ring ring::

Yaten-Minako, it means CUTE!!!!!! CUTE!!!!!!!!! you're an IDIOT!!!!!! ::hangs up::

Minako-Wow, how did he know that was me? ::giggles::

Rego-Yaten said, B, cute. Is that your final answer?

Minako-Well, last time I trusted Yaten on a problem, he said the wrong answer, so I'm gonna say

C. Cheesehead. Final answer.

::dramatic pause::

Rego-Well, I'm sorry Minako, you should of trusted Yaten on that one. The right answer is B, cute.

Minako-That's okay. This was kinda boring anyway. I'm gonna go find Yaten! ::giggles and runs out door::

Rego-Well, she certainly was a vivacious contestant. But now we have a new contestant vying for

a spot on the hot seat. And he is...

Professor Tomoe!

Tomoe-::waves::

Rego-Here's the next Fast Finger question

Q. Put the following letters in order from first in the alphabet to last.

A. A

B. B

C. C

D. D

Rego-And we have a winner! Son Goku, come on down!

Goku-::blinks:: Me?

Rego-yes, you. Come on down!

Goku-Alright. ::walks down to podium::  
Rego-Alright, let's start the game!!

The $1 question:

Q. How many members are in N*Sync?

A. 2

B. 3

C. 17

D. 5

Goku-That's an easy one. D, 5. Final Answer

Rego-And you're right! Son Goku, you've just won one dollar!

The $2 Question

Q. What is 2+2?

A. 55

B. 1

C. 4

D. -4

Goku-Man, are you playing me? That's C, 4. Final answer.

Rego-Goku's on a roll today! But let's stop wasting time!

The $3 Question

Q. What color hair does Meiou Setsuna have?

A. dark green

B. red

C. purple

D. yellow

Goku-I went out with her in high school, so I should know. The answer's A, dark green. Final answer.

Rego-And Goku's won 3 dollars!

The $4 Question

Q. How many people are in the Amazoness Quartet?

A. 3

B. 4

C. 7

D. 1

Goku-::blinks:: Just how easy can these get? B, 4. Final Answer.

Rego-He's won $4! But now here's the hardest one, the $5 Question!!!!!!

Q. What does the equation "e=mc2" describe?

A. The Theory of Relativity

B. Newton's Law of Physics

C. Tomoe's Law of Insanity

Tomoe-Hey!

D. Clinton's Law of Lying

Goku-::sighs:: This was just too easy for me. The answer is A, The Theory of Relativity.

Rego-Final answer?

Goku-Yes.

Rego-Are you sure?

Goku-Yes, I'm sure.

Rego-You still have all 3 lifelines. Are you really sure?

Goku-Yes, I'm sure. Final answer.

Rego-Now, Goku....

Goku-I said I was sure dammit!!!!!!! KAMEHAMEHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ::blows Rego to dust::

Goku-The NERVE of that guy, geesh! ::walks off with check for $5::

Announcer-Well, we're out of time for today. Be sure to join us next time on Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks!

Of course, if we can find a new host....

End


	2. The Madness Continues....

I wrote this story many moons ago, never intending it to go past one chapter. BUT, it is now 1:30 in the morning, I am on coffee (oh god...), I am bored (god help us all...), and I have decided to write a second chapter!!!!!! MWA HA HA HA HA!   
  
So, without further adu, I present to you......  
  
THE SECOND CHAPTER!!! ::dramatic chord::  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Announcer - Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of 'Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?' It is my great honor to present to you our new host, who is none other than....::dramatic pause:: LORD VOLDEMORT!!!  
  
A random member of the audience screams.  
  
Voldemort - ::jumps onto the stage from a very high place:: Thank you Announcer! Now, wait, before you all get up and run away, thinking I'm going to brutally murder you, that's not the case. As least not yet. ::gets evil gleam in eye::  
  
A random member of the audience gets up and attempts to run out the door.  
  
Voldemort - AVADA KEDAVRA! ::audience member falls over dead:: Does anybody else want to leave? I didn't think so. Now, as I was saying, we have 10 new contestants here that all are itching to win 5 bucks! And they are....  
  
Dilly-chan!  
  
Dilandau - ::sweatdrops:: Don't call me that.  
  
Sirius Black!  
  
All the female audience members swoon and faint, except for Ten'oh Haruka, who just rolls her eyes.  
  
Hououji Fuu!  
  
Fuu - It is an honor to be here today.  
  
Audience - BOOOOOO!!!!!! ::throws tomatoes, moldy spam, and other assorted "things"::  
  
Arisugawa Juri!  
  
Juri - ::smiles cooly and gives a little wave::  
  
Haruka faints.  
  
Merle...um....Merle!  
  
Merle - Word. (A/N if you haven't read "Was It All Just A Dream? Or A Fanfic?" you might not get the whole Merle being ghetto thing. ::shrugs:: Oh well. She's ghetto.)  
  
Zazu Torque!  
  
Zazu - Bottoms up! ::throws back a bottle of whiskey::  
  
Movie Miki!  
  
Movie Miki - ::smiles cutely and clicks stopwatch::  
  
Allen Scheazer!  
  
Allen - ::smiles and pushes his long gorgeous bishonen hair back:: I use Herbal Essences.   
  
Iron Chef Japanese, Masaharu Morimoto!  
  
Morimoto (In bad English-dubbed voice ) - ::bows:: I am so happy to be here today.  
  
And finally.....a big piece of cheese!  
  
Cheese - ::.........is silent::  
  
Voldemort - But let's not waste anymore time! ::glares at audience:: Or else...... ::pauses for a moment, before continuing:: To reach the Hot Seat, our contestants must first correctly answer the Fastest Finger question. Whoever comes up with the correct answer first gets to come up here and sit next to me. ::in dark tones:: My, won't they be lucky.....  
And the fastest finger question is....  
  
Put the following days of the week in order, from first to last!  
  
A. Monday  
B. Tuesday  
C. Wednesday  
D. Saturday  
  
  
And who got to it quickest? Why, it's none other....than.....::flatly:: oh look. Sirius Black.  
  
Sirius - ::suavely stands up and suavely walks up to the hot seat, where he suavely sits down. Okay, everything this guy does is suave::  
  
Voldemort - ::grumbling:: Well, I guess I'm supposed to talk to you about your life and stuff. So....I hear you're an escaped convict?  
  
Sirius - And might I add that I was framed? ::glares at camera:: That's right Pettigrew...I can see you.  
  
Peter/Cameraman - Eep!  
  
Voldemort - ::clears throat:: Can we just get on with this already? First question, for $1.  
  
Sirius - ::blinks:: What's a dollar?  
  
Voldemort - It's Muggle money....  
  
Sirius - Well, then, why would I want that?  
  
Voldemort - ::sighs with disgust:: Just play along, okay? You do and I won't kill you....  
  
Sirius - Whatever.  
  
Voldemort - And our first question is....  
  
What is the name of the character on All My Children who most recently died? (A/N Kristen, this one's for you ^^)  
  
A. Bianca  
B. Gillian  
C. Gabriel the creepy stalker guy  
D. Bob  
  
Sirius - Oh my god! You couldn't have made an easier question! All My Children is my favorite soap! I watch it every single day! B, Gillian, final answer.  
  
Voldemort - ::cocks an eyebrow:: You watch All My Children? ::coughs:: Yeah, anyway, that's right. And Sirius Black has just won himself a dollar! Let's move on.  
  
Who is the author of the best-selling Harry Potter book series? ::blinks:: Um...oro? Who came up with this question?  
  
Peter/Cameraman - ::slowly backs away::  
  
Voldemort - Well, whatever. Your choices are...  
  
A. Anne Rice  
B. Mary Higgans Clark  
C. Steven King  
D. J. K. Rowling  
  
Sirius - Can't we just let this one pass? I think we both know what the answer is....  
  
Voldemort - Just play along.  
  
Sirius - Um...okay. Gee Mister Lord Voldemort Sir, I have no idea what the answer could be. Maybe if I think reeeeaaallllyyy hard and put on a face of intense concentration, it will come to me! ::puts on a face of "intense concentration", which just makes him look constipated::  
  
Voldemort - Oh, god, Sirius. ::takes out wand:: JUST ANSWER THE DAMN QUESTION!!!  
  
Sirius - ::cowers:: Okay...it's D, J. K. Rowling. Final answer.  
  
Voldemort - And it's correct! (to Sirius) See, isn't it better when you just play along?  
(back to normal voice) On to the $3 question!  
  
On the popular cartoon Spongebob Squarepants, which of the following characters is a starfish?  
  
A. Patrick  
B. Squidward  
C. Sandy  
D. Pearl  
  
Sirius - Hm....this is a tough one. Considering the fact that I have never heard of the show in my entire life, I can honestly say that I have no idea.  
  
A random audience member stands up and screams. "HOW COULD YOU NOT HAVE HEARD OF SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS? HAVE YOU BEEN LIVING UNDER A ROCK?"  
  
Sirius - Well, PARDON ME for being framed by rat boy over there and being forced to spend half my life in a dirty cell in Azkaban! I'm outta here. ::gets up and walks away::   
  
Voldemort - ::sweatdrops:: Well, he certainly was a run contestant. But I hate dwelling, so let's not dwell. The next fastest finger question is as follows...  
  
Put the following colors in order from lightest to darkest!  
  
A. Light Purple  
B. Medium Purple  
C. Dark Purple  
D. Really Dark Purple  
  
And the person with the fastest fingers is....::pauses:: Hm...that sounds really kinky. I wonder who scripted this? Yeah, anyway, Merle!  
  
Merle casually walks down to the hot seat, somehow managing not to trip on her super-baggy pants.  
  
Merle - Yo, wuz up my homie?  
  
Voldemort - ::sweatdrop:: I'm not even gonna ask. First question!  
  
Complete this popular jingle. "I am stuck on BandAid brand cause..."  
  
A. They smell like a piece of cheese.  
  
Big Piece of Cheese - ::is insulted::  
  
B. Sirius has fleas.  
  
(from somewhere far away) Sirius - I heard that!  
  
C. Germs don't stick on me.  
D. The Titanic sunk in the sea.  
  
Merle - Well ain't this an easy q. I'm a say C, final answer, ya know what I'm sayin?  
  
Voldemort - ::flatly:: Yeah, I know what you're saying. ::normal voice:: And it's correct! You've just won $1! Next question....  
  
Spam (TM) has a very distinctive flavor. And it is...  
  
A. God only knows.  
B. Used Kleenex.  
C. Explosive curry.  
D. Cabbage water.  
  
Merle - ::blinks:: Yo, what be dis "Spam" you talkin about? I ain't never heard a it.   
  
Voldemort - ::digs around in pocket of robe and grins maniacally:: You wanna try some?  
  
Merle - Uh...no. Not wit them choices. ::gets up and walks away, still managing not to trip over her pants::  
  
Voldemort - Well, that's all the time we have for today! Rest assured, the show *will* continue, as soon as Dusk thinks up some more questions!  
  
Dusk - ::grumbles:: I'm working on it! And if you wanna stay in this fic, you'd better go get me some more coffee!!  
  
Voldemort - Er....(thinks to himself - Hm. Do I really wanna stay in this story? Let me weigh the options. Either way, I get to torture and/or kill random people, but if I stay I get to do it in front of a big audience, plus whoever reads the story.) I'll do it!  
  
Dusk - ::grins:: I knew you would.....  
  
  
END  
  
for now, anyway  
  
  
  
  
  
DISCLAIMER - ::claps hands together:: Oh yay! My favorite part of the fic! Ugh...yeah right. Escaflowne and all characters belongs to Sunrise, methinks, Harry Potter and all characters belong to J. K. Rowling, Fuu belongs in a torture chamber, but, unfortunately, she belongs to CLAMP, who keep her safe......::grumbles to self:: SKU and all characters belong to Kunihiko Ikuhara/Chiho Saito and the Be-Papas, Zazu also belongs to CLAMP, Iron Chef belongs to um...Fuji TV or something like that....well, I don't own Iron Chef, I can tell ya that much. Who Wants to Be a Millionaire still belongs to some big corporate TV executive guy, All My Children belongs to somebody who works for ABC.....ugh. I give up. I hate disclaimers. I think from now on I'll just go with the standard "You recognize it, I don't own it" thing.   
  
Oh, and all flames will be used to burn Fuu in my backyard.  



	3. Conclusion!...Maybe ^^

::cue Star Wars music::  
A long time ago, way back even before band camp, an author who then went by the name of Dusk decided to write a second chapter to her infamous story, "Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?", which, really, could have just been left at one chapter...but NO! Not with the now-named Arisugawa's level of insanity! It's been almost 5 months since she wrote that fateful second chapter, this time featuring characters from her new obsessions of Shoujo Kakumei Utena and Harry Potter, and now she's digging it out of the vaults, for what reasons, nobody can guess........  
  
WHO WANTS TO MAKE 5 BUCKS?  
--The Third Chapter  
By The Author Formerly Known As Dusk  
or, Arisugawa-sempai  
  
::applause, cheering, etc::  
  
Voldemort- And welcome back to Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks?, the completely insane, non-sense-making game show invented by a girl who used to go by Dusk until 6 other people copied her name and she changed it. Anyway, we still have....um.. a bunch of other contestants vying for a spot in the hot seat! And they are...  
Dilly! Fuu! ::audience boos:: Juri! ::audience cheers:: Zazu! Miki! Allen! Cheese! And Iron Chef Japanese, Masaharu Morimoto!   
And now it's time for our next Fastest Finger question!  
  
Put these alcoholic drinks into alphabetical order:  
A. Beer  
B. Tequila  
C. Vodka  
D. Whisky   
  
And the fastest one is.....Zazu Torque! ::dryly:: Oh, what a surprise.   
  
::Zazu takes a swig of his vodka and stumbles down onto the floor. He trips over his own feet, gets back up again, takes another drink, then falls into the hot seat::  
  
Voldemort- How....nice...to see you here today. So, Zazu, I hear you're a prepubescent alcoholic. How does that feel?  
  
Zazu- Yeah, ish like..whasshamatoohie...yeah. ::takes a drink::  
  
Voldemort- Riiiiiiiiight. So here's your first question.  
  
Which of these is not a cookie?  
A. Chocolate Chip  
B. Fritos  
C. Oreos  
D. Chips Ahoy  
  
  
Zazu- :: finally speaking coherently. Sort of.:: Uh...dat would be aaaaah....aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah....::passes out with head on table thing::  
  
Voldemort- Oh great. Hey, security! Can we get this guy OFF of here? EEW! HE'S BREATHING ON ME! GET HIM OFF GET HIM OFF GET HIM OFF!!   
  
::those little beaver guys from Rocko's Modern Life come out with a stretcher. They hoist Voldemort up and start taking him away::  
  
Voldemort- Not ME, you numbskull! The passed out drunk kid!  
  
::Beaver guys go over, pick up Dilly, and carry him away, while trying to avoid the lighter he keeps thrusting at them while giggling "burn...burn..." ::  
  
Voldemort- Oh god. Peter! Get this guy out of here! ......or else.   
  
Peter- Yes SIR! Coming SIR! Right away, SIR! ::picks up Zazu and carries him away::  
  
Voldemort- Well that got rid of two more of our contestants. Let's see, there's only.....GAAAH! 6 MORE!!!  
  
A-sempai- Geesh, fine, have it your way. ::Hand of God (Arisugawa) comes out of sky and scoops up Allen, Miki, Cheese, and Iron Chef Japanese, Masuharu Morimoto, leaving only.....Juri and Fuu.::  
  
Voldemort- ::cocks an eyebrow:: This isn't Burger King....but whatever.   
  
Put These Rocky Horror Characters In Order In Order Of Appearance:  
A. Columbia  
B. Riff Raff  
C. Magenta  
D. The Car  
  
And.....it's Arisugawa Juri!....hey, that sounds sort of like that author's name. Eh well. ::Juri cooly gets up, walks down to the floor, sits in the hot seat, crosses her legs, folds her arms, and smiles. Haruka gets up, only to faint again.:: Well, Juri, you must certainly be Rocky Horror obsessed, because that was a trick question! See, audience, you would think that the car appeared first...but it didn't!! Mwa ha ha! Riff Raff actually did! Not in that exact character...but he was there! MWA HAHAHAHAHA! The great Lord Voldemort has again messed with the minds of the more stupid contestants ::pointed glare at Fuu::, and given the ones who know what they're talking about a chance to shine! And you, Juri, are the only one who got that.   
  
Shiori (In audience)- ::mumbles:: It figures. ::Foot of God comes down and kicks Shiori to hell, which is where all goats go eventually::  
  
Voldemort- So, Juri..::shuffles through cards:: I hear you're a lesbian. That must be interesting.  
  
Juri- ::clutches locket:: You have no right to ask about my personal life. JUST ASK THE QUESTIONS! ::eyebrow twitch::  
  
Voldemort- Ok, ok.   
  
Who created the manga version of Utena?  
A. Akio Ohtori  
B. Susan Lucci  
C. Chiho Saito  
D. Mark Edward Hoyt  
  
Juri- ::stares:: You....think......that's......HARD?  
  
Voldemort- ......No.  
  
Juri- Oh, ok then. The answer's C, Chiho Saito.  
  
Voldemort- And that's correct! Duh.   
  
Fuu- But, Mr. Voldemort Sir, I did not know the answer to that question.  
  
Voldemort- ::points wand at Fuu:: You wanna die?  
  
Fuu- No, not really, Mr. Voldemort Sir.   
  
Voldemort- Darn. I was kinda hoping you did. Anyway, question number two!  
  
Which of these is the French word for "cheese"?  
A. Fromage  
B. Zut  
C. Raccoon  
D. Pauvre  
  
Juri- ::twitches:: I'm......not.....FRENCH, DAMMIT! ........the answer is A. ::hangs head in shame::  
  
Voldemort- Pretty right for a non-French person. ::Juri growls::  
  
Juri- I need to take my anger out on someone. :: she grabs Voldemort and pulls a sword out of his chest. He then falls to the ground:: Fuu! A duel. NOW!  
  
Fuu- But Miss Juri, I do not have a sword, nor do I have any intention of fighting you to-day. Why, it would take a miracle--  
  
Juri- ::twitches:: A WHAT?!! THERE'S NO SUCH THING!! AAAAAAAAARRRGGGGHH!!!! ::she lunges forward and cuts Fuu right in half::  
  
Audience- YAAAAAAY! ::throws roses, cookies, chili dogs, and other good things at Juri::  
  
Juri- ::bows:: Thank you, thank you! Hey, anytime! Erm...::looks down at Voldemort's unconscious body:: oops. Well, since your host is....indisposed...right now, thank you for watching Who Wants to Make 5 Bucks? and all that jazz. ::picks up check for 5 dollars, and walks over to Haruka:: Wanna go on a date? 


End file.
